- Welcome to my page! It's all about pen pals. I created this page for
only one purpose. To help people find meaningful friendship through letters.
| Categories |
Teen Guys |
Teen Girls |
| Email Pen Pals |
15-17, 18-20 |
15-17, 18-20 |
| Snail Mail Pen Pals |
15-17, 18-20 |
15-17, 18-20 |
| Sibling Groups |
15-17, 18-20 |
15-17, 18-20 |
| Twins/Triplets/Etc. |
15-17, 18-20 |
15-17, 18-20 |
| Teen Moms & Teen Dads |
15-17, 18-20 |
15-17, 18-20 |
| Gay, Bi, Lesbian & T* |
15-17, 18-20 |
15-17, 18-20 |
| Punk/Alternative |
15-17, 18-20 |
15-17, 18-20 |
- What is High Sierra Place?
- It's the place where I work. If you read my story, below, I talk about
the Phoenix Placement Center. High Sierra is the same type of place. There
are some differences - High Sierra places kids only locally, is not so
high cost, age is not limited to under 18. Many kids stay here much longer
than we stayed at Phoenix. I thought to start a page where those who were
interested could place their ads and hopefully find someone to talk with
- waiting for unknown periods of time, for unknown things to come, can
be boring.
- Letter writing was more than a hobby for me - it united, reunited,
and created my family. Four years ago my parents died - separate accidental
deaths three weeks apart. My five siblings and I ... I was the oldest at
15, next was Kassy my sister age 13, my brothers Tristan and Eathan both
8, and my baby brothers Tom 2 and Dillon 8 months ... were separated first
by relatives and then, when the relatives did not keep us, by foster care.
Our parents had thought in advance to name someone as a guardian in case
of something happening to them. We should have immediately been sent to
him. But we were not, because of a messed up system that placed the indecisive
willfulness of relatives above the wishes of our parents. By the time the
relatives had retreated from our lives, my siblings and I had been separated
for over a year, and were scattered over three states. Throughout that
time, only Tom and Eathan were ever placed in a home together, despite
the supposed laws that are in place to prevent sibling groups from being
separated if not necessary. I was angry by the fact that we had not been
placed together, immediately, as we were supposed to. I was angry because
I had lost the only family I had left. I was angry probably at everyone
including Alex, the man our parents had appointed our guardian. I kept
wondering why he wasn't doing anything - he did have legal guardianship
of us - all he had to do was claim it. I eventually realized that not only
had no one bothered to contact him, but that no one had any idea of where
to find him. Sure, there's ways of finding people. Is anyone going to bother
on behalf of a bunch of insignificant kids? Apparently not. All I had was
a name, and a despicably common one at that - Alexander Willis. There must
be a billion. I knew the four states where he might be, but those were
California, Arizona, Illinois, and Utah. And I was in Florida. At that
time I barely knew enough to try phone directories. It wouldn't have helped
much, there were just too many people with that name, and so many people
don't list their full names - I would have had to count in all the A. Willis'
as well. Well, to make this a little shorter, I had always had pen pals,
and especially during the time when I was being moved around from home
to home, we got close. It seemed they were the only friends I had left.
I had lost contact with friends from my hometown. I never stayed anywhere
long enough to make new friends. And people you've been writing to for
a long time can sometimes become as close to you as friends who live a
block down the street from you. I remember during that time my letters
would reach book-length. I had no one else to talk with who could understand.
I have several letters still, from pen pals, where they are almost obviously
talking me out of killing myself. I don't remember that though - I suppose
I was depressed enough to sound like I might. Eventually a few of them
had offered to check out names from phone directories. That's how it all
started. I had pen pals in all of the four states except Utah. They would
call people (I couldn't afford to call long-distance at that point, so
I hadn't been able to do much searching on my own), send letters, get public
records. All the things I couldn't have been able to do. A few of their
parents had offered suggestions, but no one helped much - people are just
so afraid to get involved with kids these days. I think that sucks. When
you're that young, there's nothing you can do yourself in some situations.
And the people who really should have enough life experience to be able
do something for you, are too afraid to step in. I'm not even sure what
they're afraid of. Were they afraid they'd end up being responsible for
me? Afraid to mess with someone else's family? There's nothing they would
have lost by making a few phone calls to those places that, if you were
not an adult, would tell you to get lost or stop playing with the phone.
I think I'm just about as mad at all the adults who had refused to help
me as I am at the people for whom it could have been so easy, at the very
beginning, to make one phone call. When we did find him, and I should say
when one of my Californian pen pals found him, I really thought "that's
it! We did it! There's nothing that will go wrong anymore, everything is
going to be perfect because I fixed everything." Not exactly everything.
First of all I guess I never did think about what it might be like to be
single, in your early 30's (way too early for kids), living comfortably
in a kid's-mess-free house, enjoying the freedom that that kind of lifestyle
brings with it, and to suddenly get a call ... "hello, nice day, isn't
it? You're now dad to six." I can imagine the thought went through
his mind that he must have done something damn bad to anger some really
mean-spirited gods. So no, everything was not perfect. I also didn't think
that the legal guardianship was something there was a question about. Our
parents picked him, right? Yeah ... wish someone'd told him about
it. There was a second problem besides the fact that at any time he could
decide he did not want to "inherit" us, and that being that legal
custody of my siblings had already been given to other people. Technically,
they did have to hand them over, but things that are technically sound
do not always run smoothly when put into practical use. We needed some
way to get together - all of us in one place again to get back the right
to be legally considered a sibling group. We found Phoenix Placement Center
- a place which would take, and keep, all of us until such a time that
we could be placed into a permanent home. The cost of travel (seven plane
tickets for a total of $3,500, two bus tickets at $36 each, cab fare -
$60), the cost of rooms (five rooms at roughly $50 each), the cost of food
(six total meals out), and an adult to escort us was provided. A two month
stay at the Center, at cost of over a $1,000 for beds, and extra costs
for meals, clothing, medical and dental care, school, and legal counseling.
The debt is one we'll be paying back for a very long time. But it was there.
It was exactly what we needed, in one package, and I don't see how I would
be here now if it was not for it. Well, anyway, once we did get to the
Center, I think things took a definitive turn for the better. I don't know
if I realized just how much money we were running up and just what we'd
owe these people by the time we'd get out of there. Or maybe it didn't
matter. It's not like we had anyplace else to go. They did do a lot. I
think anyone who manages to convince a person who a few months prior thought
he needed kids same as the plague, that he, in fact, wants to be a parent,
is working on a higher level. They did get him to, pretty quickly, take
responsibility for us. There was a "parent guide", well, that's
what we called them - people who came in everyday for part of the day to
teach him what exactly to do with six kids. After that, still nothing was
perfect. It still isn't. I finished high school a year late, a year early.
Having missed a year I had a take more classes the following years to complete
that grade without repeating the year. In two school years I completed
three grades. I started college, this year, but can't be a full time student
because of work - I work full time and that pays for everything ... and
doesn't pay enough to cover even half. I've paid back roughly 5% of the
debts we'd run up. And with every month the amount owned goes up ... a
few times it would actually be higher the next month than it had been before
my payment the previous. My sister, now 17, did pretty well. Right now
she is studying art in Europe - having been accepted to art college this
year. As for Alex, I think we corrupted him. With all our problems I think
he figured he couldn't do worse. He did. Last year he had an illegitimate
baby with a woman whom I saw once - the day she showed up to say she didn't
want his kid anymore and could he take it, like, right now? I moved
out a few months afterwards - it was either that or we would have had to
get a smaller house, apartment, or ... I don't know. He made a pretty good
parent though, maybe not to me (being not exactly old enough to play that
type of role for me). I think that for Tom, now 6, and Dillon 5, and even
Tristan and Eathan, 12, he's the only parent they have had. Having been
7 at the time our parents died, I don't know how much influence Tristan
and Eathan had had from them. Their memories are practically nothing, probably
due to the confusion afterwards, being jerked around, and being separated
from the rest of us and each other. Tom was 2, there's no way he could
remember anything prior to arriving here. And Dillon was a baby when the
whole thing took place, he was just old enough to know what we were talking
about when we were trying to make sense to a 1-1/2 year old, explaining
things he basically didn't know anything about - family. I do remember
him screaming for the foster mother, but it was for the wrong one (not
the one he had been with last), and I figure that it was more due to the
new situation and not knowing who any of us were than to any ties he could
have formed with anyone during the time he was separated from us. And now
there's baby Scott, almost 1-1/2. I used to feel guilty about him having
been brought into the world in not exactly the correct circumstances (whatever
those would be ... I don't suppose being abandoned by a parent is a good
way to start out), but now I don't, not much. I don't have any way of knowing
just what we did to Alex's life. Probably, in truth, ruined it by bringing
with us all the chaos and problems, and, really, expecting him to fix it
all - in fact believing that it was his responsibility to do so. Then again,
having a baby with the wrong person, or at the wrong time, or at a time
when it would be best to work on the problems already at hand and not go
looking for potential new ones, is too common a thing to be able to blame
it on something as specific as me. Besides, at least with this one, no
one did stick him with it.
- My e-mail address is connerquinn@
- You can reach me by snail mail (my preferred way of communicating)
at Sierra, my address is
- Conner Quinn
- High Sierra 6-a
- 2055 Olympus 6
- Hercules, CA 94547
- United States